Relocation 101
So as I type this, I sit here and stare at piles upon piles of boxes. No, it isn't Christmas time, I have moved. Moving is one of those things that you forget how painful and overall unpleasant it is until you are actually in the midst of the activity. And apparently in my 27 years I have managed to collect a good portion of belongings, mostly of the heavy variety.
So what I found facing me was a job of daunting proportions: to move all of my crap to my new apartment near the university area, on a hot summer day, while dodging traffic and pedestrians on a busy Canada Day, all without causing myself to crumble into fits of insanity. Oh and I forgot to mention I am on the third floor, and my new building has no elevator.
Lack of an elevator = blood (well not so much of that), sweat (moving in the summer increases this exponentially), and tears (when did I decide that I needed so many g.d. books?).
However dear reader, there is a happy ending. With indefatigable zeal I humped those boxes up and down the stairs. One after another. And now here they sit.
And now here I sit, three pounds lighter. That is right, sans trois pounds! When it struck me as a great idea for my next business: Edmonton Weight Loss & Moving Company. That is right. All of these diet centers popping up nowadays and people getting mediocre results. Well no more. Those desiring to lose weight come to me and enter my program ($200 sign-up fee). Those desiring to move and in need of movers come to me seeking my moving expertise (price varies depending on size of home). I then match up the two groups.
Instead of starving yourself and going on cabbage diets, or whatever the current fad is, you bust your ass moving other people's furniture. At the end you are rewarded with a real weight loss and also a sense of accomplishment. Three pounds ladies and gentlemen; it worked for me.
This is a real and actual picture of my company's new moving van* :
So the next time you go to the grocery store and see all of the cans of SlimFast on the shelves unpurchased, or drive past a gym and see the parking lot empty, do not be surprised. This just means that the populace has joined the wave of the future: Edmonton Weight Loss & Moving.
* I have had people asking if the picture of the moving truck is actually an artistic rendering by the likes of Van Gogh or Michelangelo. While I can see how the untrained eye might be fooled, I must reiterate that no: an artistic genius did not compose the picture, it is an actual photograph of my moving company truck.
So what I found facing me was a job of daunting proportions: to move all of my crap to my new apartment near the university area, on a hot summer day, while dodging traffic and pedestrians on a busy Canada Day, all without causing myself to crumble into fits of insanity. Oh and I forgot to mention I am on the third floor, and my new building has no elevator.
Lack of an elevator = blood (well not so much of that), sweat (moving in the summer increases this exponentially), and tears (when did I decide that I needed so many g.d. books?).
However dear reader, there is a happy ending. With indefatigable zeal I humped those boxes up and down the stairs. One after another. And now here they sit.
And now here I sit, three pounds lighter. That is right, sans trois pounds! When it struck me as a great idea for my next business: Edmonton Weight Loss & Moving Company. That is right. All of these diet centers popping up nowadays and people getting mediocre results. Well no more. Those desiring to lose weight come to me and enter my program ($200 sign-up fee). Those desiring to move and in need of movers come to me seeking my moving expertise (price varies depending on size of home). I then match up the two groups.
Instead of starving yourself and going on cabbage diets, or whatever the current fad is, you bust your ass moving other people's furniture. At the end you are rewarded with a real weight loss and also a sense of accomplishment. Three pounds ladies and gentlemen; it worked for me.
This is a real and actual picture of my company's new moving van* :
So the next time you go to the grocery store and see all of the cans of SlimFast on the shelves unpurchased, or drive past a gym and see the parking lot empty, do not be surprised. This just means that the populace has joined the wave of the future: Edmonton Weight Loss & Moving.
* I have had people asking if the picture of the moving truck is actually an artistic rendering by the likes of Van Gogh or Michelangelo. While I can see how the untrained eye might be fooled, I must reiterate that no: an artistic genius did not compose the picture, it is an actual photograph of my moving company truck.
posted by Kwazer at 2:10 PM
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