"It feels like the first time..." (though it's really the second)

I was happy to note this milestone in the young life of my blog:

1000 hits. Here is photographic evidence.





Yes 1000 hits, for the second time. The second time you ask?

The morning of the milestone I noted that I hit 1001, and after I shouted out with animated glee and high-fived all of my imaginary friends, I subsequently popped open a bottle of Cristal Champagne, scarfed down beluga, and invited over some dancing girls to celebrate. An hour later I looked in horror as my hit counter had spun backwards to 930. So I was like "hey, what the eff?!"
It has since came back to those four happy digits, but I'm still super-miffed at my site counter. I mean, it's SOLE job in the universe is to count things. That is why it is there. And when it fails at its only job, what else does it have to fall back on? That's right, nothing.

So I think it's safe to say that Mr. Bravenet site counter you are useless. Oh yes I did.
Just like the light bulb that doesn't turn on, or the cup that leaks you can't even do the one job that you are here to do. So in summary, you suck at life. Harsh I know, but it had to be said.
But don't fret, if all goes well, maybe you can be reincarnated and come back as a (much more reliable) abacus. Or I bet that the Bush administration would love to have you as a Democratic vote-counter in Florida.
Until then I'll probably keep you around, because I'm loyal like that, and partly because I pity you. Just don't expect things to be as rosy as they once were; i.e. no more latenight walks in the park or Saturday morning cartoons together. Anyways, I've got to go, I have a date with my friends Mr. Slide rule, Mrs. Electronic calculator, and Mr. Comptometer.
But before I go, I will leave you with this scene from Monty Python and the holy grail. The theme may strike a chord with you:

Second brother: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu...
Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother.
Second brother: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
Maynard: Amen.
Knights: Amen.
King Arthur: Right! One... two... five!
Sir Galahad: Three, sir!
King Arthur: Three!