The incredible adventures of Snaggletooth Dunst
Most annoying celebrity of the month (most probably leading to a lifetime achievement of irritation award), goes to Kirsten Dunst. If there is a whinier, smarmier, more pretentious person I have yet to see her. That's right, I'm looking at YOU Snaggletooth:
Why did you have to infect one of my favourite movies of all time - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - with your grating voice, bad acting and sabertooth? Now you are trying to wreak havoc with a comic book institution - Spiderman.
Here is a magazine quote from Dunst about the future of her character in Spiderman 3.
"I don't think they should kill Mary Jane off. That would be pretty typical if they killed the girl at the end. Why doesn't the superhero ever die? It would be so sad and beautiful ... I think if Mary Jane was alone and pregnant and he died, she could give birth to a spider-baby and carry on the series with another young boy or something like that. I hope she doesn’t die. I just think that’s kind of an obvious way to go: ‘We have to end it, so lets just kill her’. Mary Jane is a huge important piece of this film, as its all about the love story."
RIGHT. So let me get this straight: Snaggletooh manages to belittle the creativity of the writer, producer, and director, but she also tries to throw Tobey Maguire to the wolves. Because all that matters is Kirsten Dunst. Wait, isn't the title of the movie Spiderman? And isn't the movie actually about Spiderman? No. Of course not. You would be 100% wrong to make that assertion. It's actually all about Kirsten Dunst.
And now with her fantastic movie ideas, it looks like Dunst is headed for writing and producing fame as well in Hollywood. Just picture it: the movie "Spiderman" though there is no such character in the movie, about the adventures of Snaggletooth, aka Mary Jane, and her weird spider-baby. Hollywood blockbuster anyone?
I'm not saying that I'd have an Acme anvil fall on her head outside an LA nightclub. But I'm not not saying it either. Please Oh Lord, your humble servant asks but one favor: please please smite Kirsten Dunst down with a meteor. Either that or a dentist to fix whatever that is in her mouth.
Why did you have to infect one of my favourite movies of all time - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - with your grating voice, bad acting and sabertooth? Now you are trying to wreak havoc with a comic book institution - Spiderman.
Here is a magazine quote from Dunst about the future of her character in Spiderman 3.
"I don't think they should kill Mary Jane off. That would be pretty typical if they killed the girl at the end. Why doesn't the superhero ever die? It would be so sad and beautiful ... I think if Mary Jane was alone and pregnant and he died, she could give birth to a spider-baby and carry on the series with another young boy or something like that. I hope she doesn’t die. I just think that’s kind of an obvious way to go: ‘We have to end it, so lets just kill her’. Mary Jane is a huge important piece of this film, as its all about the love story."
RIGHT. So let me get this straight: Snaggletooh manages to belittle the creativity of the writer, producer, and director, but she also tries to throw Tobey Maguire to the wolves. Because all that matters is Kirsten Dunst. Wait, isn't the title of the movie Spiderman? And isn't the movie actually about Spiderman? No. Of course not. You would be 100% wrong to make that assertion. It's actually all about Kirsten Dunst.
And now with her fantastic movie ideas, it looks like Dunst is headed for writing and producing fame as well in Hollywood. Just picture it: the movie "Spiderman" though there is no such character in the movie, about the adventures of Snaggletooth, aka Mary Jane, and her weird spider-baby. Hollywood blockbuster anyone?
I'm not saying that I'd have an Acme anvil fall on her head outside an LA nightclub. But I'm not not saying it either. Please Oh Lord, your humble servant asks but one favor: please please smite Kirsten Dunst down with a meteor. Either that or a dentist to fix whatever that is in her mouth.
posted by Kwazer at 2:11 PM
2 Comments:
just so's you knows i've tried commenting a few times and it wasn't letting me.
you really have a hate on for poor snaggletooth. why aren't you picking on jewel also, i mean to be fair and all.
fluffica rocks yo!
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